So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
