Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
