i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
