I want to make a zoo with you.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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