I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
What drink are we having for lunch?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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