It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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