If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The beer is more important than you right now.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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