i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
