It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
