yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just want nice things and good sex
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize