Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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