Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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