my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
