why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
