I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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