Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
