You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
