what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
