Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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