After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Damn victory sex feels great
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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