Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I have post one night stand depression
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