When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
