I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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