bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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