They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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