Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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