U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
