So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize