How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
