he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
