i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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