Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
bring money and cleavage
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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