OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
