I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
