Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
My Higher Power is John Stamos
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
