Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
