Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
