Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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