Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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