So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
