So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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