The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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