your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
