The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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