I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
