it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize