Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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