It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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