I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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