actually, I'm a sock model
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
