So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
