The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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