Pappa wants mamma naked
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
