i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
