you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
