it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize