So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
