The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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