i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
And then he peed in my hair
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