The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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