I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
