sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
