Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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