its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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