Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize