Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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