I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
