just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
