dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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