If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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